Thank You, Miss South Carolina.

WE'RE BACK! And in the spirit of things, I suppose it's time to hit it hard, like a suspect in shackles. I hate to jump on the bandwagon here, but I suppose it is only fitting that TDD pays a humble tribute to one of YouTube's finest collections of comments EVER. That's right folks. At this very moment, the famous Ms. South Carolina video has almost surpassed the 30,000 comment mark. And needless to say, these dummies are following in finest commenter form.

So if 1 in 5 US Americans cannot locate the United States on a world map, we can assume that this is because this same 5th of our country is spending their time furiously commenting the days away on YouTube. Rather than taking another cheap shot at Ms. South Carolina, I would like to commend her for bringing the brightest and best of this geographically illiterate population together in one place, making my job incredibly easy. Although if I were her right now, I'd almost rather be left at the mercy of Michael Vick's hairy little prize fighters than subjected to this endless internet torture. Notwithstanding their utter stupidity, these commenter types can get a little vicious.

In a more-than-memorable kickoff, yman198 was able to pinpoint the folly of the girl's answer and provide a simple, effective solution; all while charming our pants off with his sense of humor, too. He states, "she said because somma people dont have maps well the question was why cant we locate us on the map so that means we do have maps and wtf does iraq have to do with this no wonder we make blond jokes she lucky she sexy i wouldve shot her" Ohhh, I see. The problem isn't the lack of maps, but rather that we don't know how to use them. How could a person not know how to locate the US America on a map that doesn't exist? So we don't need any more maps then. I'm also not really sure what Iraq had to do with the question and I could see how her shortsighted inclusion of this detail would resonate with countless of our old favorite blond jokes. No wonder they think blonds are stupid, yman198! Although the opportunity has passed, the only real solution would have been for Mario Lopez to shoot her onstage. She's lucky she's sexy though, because I'm sure it's the only thing that prevented Slater from pulling out his glock and capping her ass right there.

Our buddy CVGodfather picked up on this subtlety too, as evidenced by this keen observation:
"Slader was tryin mad hard not 2 laugh at the end!" You were almost right CVGodfather, you old dog! Slater wasn't just trying to restrain his laughter. He was, in fact, trying his damndest not to pull a Cheney on her and blast her in the face. Also for the readers, please note the fact that this man also does not realize that "Slader" is actually a character named "Slater" played by a real, live, Latino actor named Mario Lopez. I must say, holding back his imminent rage was his best performance yet.

"And the dumdass of the ear award goes too..." ... behappynoworry, for posting this amazingly paradoxical little comment. From one blithering idiot to another, this is a pretty little bit of irony. This is like one paraplegic telling another paraplegic that they're going to outrun them in the Boston Marathon. No, no... by that I didn't mean pointless. I meant "hilarious."

For the first time in TDD history, we have a returning commenter who managed to outdumb the masses once again. You may remember his rampant incoherence from the Fresh Prince edition. It seems that no matter where he's sailing in YouTube's sea of banalities, Trabant6666 sticks out like a boner in gym class. "how old you have to be to know where the fuck is your own country on the map?" he asks. It's a fair enough question, but his ignorance and impatience become his demise. Leaving no room for anyone to respond, Trabant6666 just slaps the spacebar and proceeds to answer the query himself. "you have to be 3 years old or an american citizen LOL" Delighted with his quip, he got clearly got caught up in his own brilliance and forgot that "an american citizen" is not an age. If that's how you wanna play Trabant6666, I've got a good one for you: How old do you have to be to have a sense of humor and comment on YouTube? A dumbass LOL!

I couldn't bring myself to give each of these next gentlemen their own little blurb, because like sex offenders, they should be confined their own small, perverted space... or something like that. One thing Ms. South Carolina DID do well was inspire a gaggle of perverts to do what they do best all over YouTube. Here are some of the standouts from this pervy oeuvre:

Nickolas086 "I hope she good at sucking cock then answering intelligent questions."

Armin600 "here is the deal: I will buy her a map if she sucks it in exchange..."

flyduck1 "Ok so she should not use her mouth for talking, but there are lots of other things she can do..."

st393736 "after looking at her face, my COCK is HARD..."

LUCKYLOONIE "Miss Teen,The best way to deal with a situation like this, is to show them your tits! -Dr Phil MD"

Ok, since flyduck1 seems to know a thing or two about oral technique, maybe he could suck Armin600's map while st393736 watches hungrily. I suppose LUCKYLOONIE (Dr. Phil's YouTube pseudonym?) would have to flash Nickolas086 confusedly while he asked the most difficult intelligent question of all: Where is Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC's Perverted Justice when we need him? C'mon pedo-hunters, do your job.

ferris66 had perhaps the most interesting take on this whole fiasco, and maybe provided some insight as to why these events transpired as they have over the last few days. "please can someone get this chic a map!! for crying out loud!! "some people out there in our nation don't have maps" hahaha buy them some maps too.. watch the rise in map profit the next 2 weeks..lolol" Could it really be? Oh my god... it's... it's true. What ferris66 is saying is that Rand McNally (the notoriously slimy and manipulative mapmakers) have paid off Ms. South Carolina in what is becoming the biggest, most scandalous cartographic conspiracy ever! They were banking on the popularity of this video to boost map sales into unprecedented territory, financing innumerable maniacal cackles in Rand McNally corporate offices worldwide! Curse you sons of bitches! May God have mercy on our souls, ferris66...

I guess in the end, the embarrassing saga Ms. Carolina has brought about a few good things. I'm sure Slater is getting more screen time than he's gotten since the days when he was slapping Screech around. I'm sure South Carolina is basking in the warm, numbing glow of the national spotlight. Ms. South Carolina herself is likely in a hotel right now with a gun in her mouth... ahem. And although she is sporting a room temperature IQ, it still hasn't detracted adoring fans like skyfinch from "still want[ing] to touch her stinky." Anyway, the most amazing result of this video was the overwhelming support this poor girl has received from people worldwide. From US Americans to Iraqis, South Africans to Asians, and other like, such as, Ms. South Carolina has left her mark in the annals of interweb history and will continue to shine on as a beacon of US educational supremacy, building up a future, for our children. Rest assured, Ms. South Carolina. You have accomplished nothing but good. I believe the revered statesman senatormendozza spoke for our entire country on a map when he said:

"she might be a dumb bitch but id still smell her panties"

Until next time, take 'er easy. And if she's easy, take 'er twice.

What's the best thing to give an idiot?

I can tell you one thing, it's definitely NOT a SUPER FUCKING POWERFUL GREEN LASER. In the next video we have a semi-dangerous toy, a green laser which can pop balloons, light matches, and be seen up to 12 miles away. Now, selling this object to reasonable, responsible adults would obviously not create any problems. Unfortunately, the creator of this video has taken it upon himself to market this product towards some of the most idiotic people ever to grace the Earth (and by grace, I merely mean exist. These guys can't really grace anything while staring slack jawed at their computer screens, breathing loudly through their mouths).



The video is pretty cool I know, (Apart from the "LET'S ROLL" poster in the beginning. I mean honestly, who would put that on their wall?) and the laser itself seems like a fun toy for a responsible adult...

sickfucker007 - "where do you get one of those fucking things!?"
Again, unfortunately we are not dealing with responsible adults, as the aptly named sickfucker007 shows us. sickfucker007 couldn't even muster up the brainpower to read the "fucking" video description, in which the video poster has a "fucking" direct link to an eBay seller who is currently selling the "fucking" lasers.

Nagle23 - "yea like thats true and how the hell doesnt it catch the house on fire"
Ahh, out comes the uninformed, idiotic skeptic. Nagle23 doesn't believe in powerful green lasers, just like he doesn't believe in evolution. Damn science is always trying to lie to us! You tell em Nagle23!

tittytwister5251 - "I WANT ONE."
I think anyone who would voluntarily name themselves tittytwister5251 is one of the worst people to whom you could give this laser. Remember those d-bags in middle school who thought it was really funny to grab your nipples and twist? This guy is definitely 26, still thinks its funny, and is going to try it at his next office party running around in an XXL Hawaiian shirt with his green laser yelling, "Laser guidance system locked on. Titty twister system engaged!"

iamtocooler - "THATS DANGEROUS"
I will never understand why people point out the miserably obvious in their comments, but thanks iamtocooler, you truly saved the day. People would never have realized that a really powerful green laser is potentially dangerous and could possibly be misused.

robertrobert905 - "wth its like a weapon, u can't just sell something like that to ppl. its way worse than a gun cas u can disguise it as a pen"
I'm not sure which is worse. Better watch out robertrobert905, I'm going to shine my laser on you and blow your intestines out through a 6 inch hole in your back! Oh wait, that's what I would do with a gun. With my laser I would annoy you by shining it on your stomach. If you were wearing a black t-shirt and I was standing less than a foot away your t-shirt might warm up. While this isn't the safest of toys, (i.e. don't stand around and shine it in your eyes), it's way less dangerous than a powerful Airsoft gun...which we just sell to people.

lovepeacenappiness23 - "I agree. Something an idiot has to fuck up people. It's all fun and games until a trrst. gets a hold of it. lol,but true."
I really would like to hope this guy was joking, but since it's YouTube, of course he isn't. I'm sure even a remotely intelligent trrst. has a better way to wreak havoc among a civilian population than to shine a green laser at people, hoping they look into the beam. lovepeacenappiness23 envisions a world in which the following happens, instead of flying fully loaded transcontinental airliners into skyscrapers, the "trrst.s" have resorted to this: "Allahu Akbar, they are looking at the beam! Soon the infidels will be temporarily blinded/possibly have some permanent vision loss!" That truly would be lovepeacenappiness23 now, wouldn't it?

nflfabfonz - "i wanna shine theese on my balls to get a raging mega huge boner!"
I guess a fetish exists for everything. Hmm, http://www.lasermyballs.com hasn't been bought yet, anybody wanna split the hosting costs?

Voltairez - "I want to stick that laser in my dick hole. Cool Video if I had one. How will sperm and green light look?"
Seriously, anyone wanna go in on that website?

(On a side note Voltairez, I'm pretty sure sperm and green light will look like green-lit sperm.)

schug2727 - "dude i want one a dem pens so i can do dem tricks and pop dem balloons with that pen. dam mayne im excitieddd i mean shiooottttt dem pens is cool..and dey aint even redd...das hot ,."
I'm speechless.

I'm going to leave you with a moment of clarity so that you don't leave the blog depressed. In response to an idiotic question, we have ColonelGeezer shining through as a voice of reason.

talbertblandstein - "Are these weapons of mass distruction ?"

ColonelGeezer - "Mass destruction? No. But in the case of Youtube, they are weapons of mass stupidity. There are no legitimate uses for laser "pointers" in the 50mw+ range except possibly for presentations in daylight, or in the lab. Either way, posts like these exemplify why high-powered lasers should be sold only to serious users with legitimate purposes and not just any kid or man-child who wants to look cool."

Sorry for our hiatus, hopefully we will have more time to update frequently. We'd still love to hear your feedback!

Brief Hiatus

Due to recent circumstances (finals, going to France, moving home from Germany), we've taken a brief hiatus in writing. Please don't abandon hope for the site, we will continue writing in the future!