Thank You, Miss South Carolina.

WE'RE BACK! And in the spirit of things, I suppose it's time to hit it hard, like a suspect in shackles. I hate to jump on the bandwagon here, but I suppose it is only fitting that TDD pays a humble tribute to one of YouTube's finest collections of comments EVER. That's right folks. At this very moment, the famous Ms. South Carolina video has almost surpassed the 30,000 comment mark. And needless to say, these dummies are following in finest commenter form.

So if 1 in 5 US Americans cannot locate the United States on a world map, we can assume that this is because this same 5th of our country is spending their time furiously commenting the days away on YouTube. Rather than taking another cheap shot at Ms. South Carolina, I would like to commend her for bringing the brightest and best of this geographically illiterate population together in one place, making my job incredibly easy. Although if I were her right now, I'd almost rather be left at the mercy of Michael Vick's hairy little prize fighters than subjected to this endless internet torture. Notwithstanding their utter stupidity, these commenter types can get a little vicious.

In a more-than-memorable kickoff, yman198 was able to pinpoint the folly of the girl's answer and provide a simple, effective solution; all while charming our pants off with his sense of humor, too. He states, "she said because somma people dont have maps well the question was why cant we locate us on the map so that means we do have maps and wtf does iraq have to do with this no wonder we make blond jokes she lucky she sexy i wouldve shot her" Ohhh, I see. The problem isn't the lack of maps, but rather that we don't know how to use them. How could a person not know how to locate the US America on a map that doesn't exist? So we don't need any more maps then. I'm also not really sure what Iraq had to do with the question and I could see how her shortsighted inclusion of this detail would resonate with countless of our old favorite blond jokes. No wonder they think blonds are stupid, yman198! Although the opportunity has passed, the only real solution would have been for Mario Lopez to shoot her onstage. She's lucky she's sexy though, because I'm sure it's the only thing that prevented Slater from pulling out his glock and capping her ass right there.

Our buddy CVGodfather picked up on this subtlety too, as evidenced by this keen observation:
"Slader was tryin mad hard not 2 laugh at the end!" You were almost right CVGodfather, you old dog! Slater wasn't just trying to restrain his laughter. He was, in fact, trying his damndest not to pull a Cheney on her and blast her in the face. Also for the readers, please note the fact that this man also does not realize that "Slader" is actually a character named "Slater" played by a real, live, Latino actor named Mario Lopez. I must say, holding back his imminent rage was his best performance yet.

"And the dumdass of the ear award goes too..." ... behappynoworry, for posting this amazingly paradoxical little comment. From one blithering idiot to another, this is a pretty little bit of irony. This is like one paraplegic telling another paraplegic that they're going to outrun them in the Boston Marathon. No, no... by that I didn't mean pointless. I meant "hilarious."

For the first time in TDD history, we have a returning commenter who managed to outdumb the masses once again. You may remember his rampant incoherence from the Fresh Prince edition. It seems that no matter where he's sailing in YouTube's sea of banalities, Trabant6666 sticks out like a boner in gym class. "how old you have to be to know where the fuck is your own country on the map?" he asks. It's a fair enough question, but his ignorance and impatience become his demise. Leaving no room for anyone to respond, Trabant6666 just slaps the spacebar and proceeds to answer the query himself. "you have to be 3 years old or an american citizen LOL" Delighted with his quip, he got clearly got caught up in his own brilliance and forgot that "an american citizen" is not an age. If that's how you wanna play Trabant6666, I've got a good one for you: How old do you have to be to have a sense of humor and comment on YouTube? A dumbass LOL!

I couldn't bring myself to give each of these next gentlemen their own little blurb, because like sex offenders, they should be confined their own small, perverted space... or something like that. One thing Ms. South Carolina DID do well was inspire a gaggle of perverts to do what they do best all over YouTube. Here are some of the standouts from this pervy oeuvre:

Nickolas086 "I hope she good at sucking cock then answering intelligent questions."

Armin600 "here is the deal: I will buy her a map if she sucks it in exchange..."

flyduck1 "Ok so she should not use her mouth for talking, but there are lots of other things she can do..."

st393736 "after looking at her face, my COCK is HARD..."

LUCKYLOONIE "Miss Teen,The best way to deal with a situation like this, is to show them your tits! -Dr Phil MD"

Ok, since flyduck1 seems to know a thing or two about oral technique, maybe he could suck Armin600's map while st393736 watches hungrily. I suppose LUCKYLOONIE (Dr. Phil's YouTube pseudonym?) would have to flash Nickolas086 confusedly while he asked the most difficult intelligent question of all: Where is Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC's Perverted Justice when we need him? C'mon pedo-hunters, do your job.

ferris66 had perhaps the most interesting take on this whole fiasco, and maybe provided some insight as to why these events transpired as they have over the last few days. "please can someone get this chic a map!! for crying out loud!! "some people out there in our nation don't have maps" hahaha buy them some maps too.. watch the rise in map profit the next 2 weeks..lolol" Could it really be? Oh my god... it's... it's true. What ferris66 is saying is that Rand McNally (the notoriously slimy and manipulative mapmakers) have paid off Ms. South Carolina in what is becoming the biggest, most scandalous cartographic conspiracy ever! They were banking on the popularity of this video to boost map sales into unprecedented territory, financing innumerable maniacal cackles in Rand McNally corporate offices worldwide! Curse you sons of bitches! May God have mercy on our souls, ferris66...

I guess in the end, the embarrassing saga Ms. Carolina has brought about a few good things. I'm sure Slater is getting more screen time than he's gotten since the days when he was slapping Screech around. I'm sure South Carolina is basking in the warm, numbing glow of the national spotlight. Ms. South Carolina herself is likely in a hotel right now with a gun in her mouth... ahem. And although she is sporting a room temperature IQ, it still hasn't detracted adoring fans like skyfinch from "still want[ing] to touch her stinky." Anyway, the most amazing result of this video was the overwhelming support this poor girl has received from people worldwide. From US Americans to Iraqis, South Africans to Asians, and other like, such as, Ms. South Carolina has left her mark in the annals of interweb history and will continue to shine on as a beacon of US educational supremacy, building up a future, for our children. Rest assured, Ms. South Carolina. You have accomplished nothing but good. I believe the revered statesman senatormendozza spoke for our entire country on a map when he said:

"she might be a dumb bitch but id still smell her panties"

Until next time, take 'er easy. And if she's easy, take 'er twice.