Alcoholism - it's funny!

This video was on the "promotional videos" section of the front page of YouTube and it looked like it could be mildly amusing (and also contain some great comments). Personally I've never been a huge Halo fan, I've preferred to stick my nerdiness into different areas, but I suppose I can see the appeal of shooting your buddies in the face (in a way). Here's the video in question, but it needs to be taken with some context, as it is a parody of a leaked video of David Hasselhoff doing the same thing. (If you haven't seen the Hasselhoff video you can view it here)

The humor in the video is admittedly in bad taste, making fun of a man at his lowest point in life, his daughter begging him to stop drinking while he tries to stuff a Wendy's burger into his mouth lying on the floor...but then again it is Hasselhoff, so that makes it okay to laugh at, right?

Oh well, on to the best part, the comments!

PAINTBALLOWNAGE42 -
"are you goin to stop
yes
do you promise
NO!!!
HE SOUNDED LIKE NAPOLEON DYNAMITE"
Just the username cracks me up, all caps - making the proclamation to the world that paintball is in fact, ownage. I really hope 42 is his age and that this is the email address he uses for business related exchanges. I can see it now. -

"John Smith" PAINTBALLOWNAGE42@bigcorp.com says: "Hey Bill, I finished typing those TPS reports, think I could get some extra time off this weekend?"

Thugpatrol -
"if you ppl knew what this was about then it would be a 5 star vid.

and yes, by "you ppl" i mean black folk"
Thanks Thugpatrol, for clarifying what you meant by "you ppl." I can really take your argument seriously when you can't even find the time to type out people, and instead have to be racist using internet shorthand.

In response to Thugpatrol's comment one would think we should have an outraged citizen at the blatant racism displayed. Instead, we have this gem from Shotgunmage - "I agree. Too many noobs are here."
I love the fact that Shotgunmage is so l33t, to him, "black folks" are equivalent to noobs. Though one would think such a l33t Mage would not need a shotgun, being able to fire magic out of his fingertips.

godsbane63 - "why doesnt he jus take the shotgun on the floor and blast the women thats nagging at him's head off?!"
Naturally this is the correct solution to the problem, though unfortunately for godsbane63 he got the weapon type wrong.

In response: GSantiago16 - "Battle Rifle* u stupid azz b!tch"
GSantiago16 sees absolutely nothing wrong with blasting an innocent woman's head off, though he does see a problem with godsbane63 referring to what is OBVIOUSLY a "Battle Rifle*" - though I suppose the problem isn't quite big enough to actually use the word bitch, instead opting for the less offensive b!tch.

In response: godsbane63 - "its so fuzy i can hardly see u ass sucker! and all i did was make a small mistake u dun hav to curse me u horse fucker!"
godsbane63 has no qualms with swearing however (I suppose as the bane of god you can swear all you want), and makes this clear in his eloquent response to GSantiago16's calling him out on his false identification of weaponry. I wasn't quite sure how one could fit both "ass sucker" and "horse fucker" into the same comment, but somehow godsbane63 manages. (They do rhyme quite nicely, maybe he should start writing poetry!)

DarkNinja1223 - "this is.........fucktarded it totally beats retardation."
I would love to have DarkNinja1223 over for coffee (though he probably only drinks Mountain Dew® XTREME!!!) and ask him to explain to me in minute detail the differences between fucktardation and retardation. Where are the borders? When does a retarded video become fucktarded? I have a feeling that ratio of things fucktarded to retarded increases exponentially when you have a name like DarkNinja1223. XTREME!

Meowmewo - "lol u guys know that this is a copy of david hasslehoff right? but its funny"
Meowmewo wants to make sure everyone is as observant as he is, because the similarities between this video and the Hasselhoff video were definitely not what made it funny. Oh wait, they were what made it funny? Thanks Mewomewo! I never would have figured it out on my own!

RAJYS - "hummm i love this video is very virtual......"
RAJYS seems to have forgotten that when you lack punctuation in a sentence you can't make up for it all at the end. I can't quite figure out what he's saying, but obviously he is thinking hard about it. I'd like to think he's saying something profound, as if a video that is virtual is full of virtue...though more likely he forgot to wipe the drool off his chin and hit return after falling asleep on the keyboard.

RichieLivingston - "Those graphics look real."
If we weren't on YouTube I would be willing to accept this comment as a joke, though unfortunately we are, and Mr. Livingston here just happens to be part of idiots. His world would be shattered if we were to tell him that those graphics were a guy in a suit, like when you tell a small child the easter bunny is just a man in a suit.

99931221 - "f u go insult haslehoff or someone else fags, mc is my fav character"
This is my absolute favorite comment of the bunch. Just look at it. I'm surprised 99931221 can even type a coherent thought, as he is completely unable to grasp the concept of a parody.

So remember, don't fuckin' insult Master Chief, or his Mountain Dew® drinking buddies will call you fags and come kick your ass XTREME hard!